Indulgence or Self Care?
Happy 2018, Internet!
I hope everyone had a wonderful end of 2017 as well! Long time, no blog post, for reasons I’ll explain, but I hope everyone out there in the interwebs is safe, happy and healthy!
This past December, CatAllergicHusband and I added a new addition to our family with our hypoallergenic Russian Blue kitten named Ghost. Since I get a kick out of telling people about her nomenclature, please indulge me with this short list:
1. She's named after the direwolf in Game of Thrones.
2. Like her namesake, she was the runt of her litter and immediately loyal to us.
3. Her middle name is Pepper, making her Ghost Pepper, which fits since she can be a fiery little thing.
4. We get great enjoyment out of calling "Ghooooooost!" around the condo, which probably freaks out our neighbors.
Ghost is super affectionate, playful and freaking adorable. She is as obsessed with us as we are with her, and we've been loving the cat parent life!
Besides that absolutely wonderful event, I’ve been BUSY with a capital B. Every week has been scheduled to the max with after school events like club meetings and new tutoring jobs; plus our weekends have been booked solid, with all fun events, thankfully. (I learned to add the thankfully right away at the end of that sentence because after telling a few people about my event-filled schedule, they responded with, "But they are all happy things!" Yes, that's true, but hearing this can give a busy person a rush of both guilt and gratitude for being overwhelmed with scheduling time for positive events.) However, happy events can still take a toll on your body, which is what brings me to this President's Day weekend.
There are two times in my life when I felt like I really, REALLY needed a massage. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve maybe said I’ve needed one but it was in an “I’m stressed and should do probably do this, type of situation.” (I’ll come back to this idea later.) The first time I remember thinking I needed a massage was on FianceeNowHusband and my honeymoon as a relaxing way to celebrate the beginning of married life and to immediately de-stress after the wedding (couples massage for the win!). The second time was...pretty much all of 2018. I was/am running nonstop and was/am consistently getting waves of anxiety every time I looked/look at a calendar. (To make this less confusing, I'll be writing the rest of this in past tense. I think you get the hint that I'm still a bit stressed.) My best friend, Bree, pointed out I couldn't think about the current month because I was so busy looking ahead to the next month's activities. I was also constantly figuring out, oftentimes aloud, when I could possibly get an extra hour of sleep.
This routine unsurprisingly resulted in a physical side effect - carrying my stress in new-found knots my shoulders, specifically my left shoulder. The knots were tight and painful even after using heat patches, IcyHot patches, microwaveable neck wraps, you name it. (I almost injured KindHusband's hand when I asked him for help with it because my back was basically a solid brick.) Meanwhile, sitting in our house since last Christmas were two gift cards for Red Door massages (I know, so fancy!) that we were saving for a rainy day. After being in pain for a while and exhausting all options of fixing it myself, I spent weeks forgetting to call for an appointment, not being able to get an appointment, and one time missing an appointment (I actually cried when this happened. All due to a stupid train delay) until we finally got an appointment for another couples massage. Why not? HardworkingHusband deserves it too!
Red Door Spa is the absolute best and I was SO excited because I knew their masseuses could help. We ended up driving to a different, further location just to get an appointment for this weekend, but I knew the place itself didn't matter because Red Door has fantastic staff everywhere. I immediately warned my masseuse of the knots after meeting her and she actually said “Wow” after touching my shoulder. Halfway through the massage, she quietly informed me the tension was really in BOTH of my shoulders, which makes a lot of sense. Overall, the experience was fantastic. She used the exact right amount of pressure and my shoulders feel So. Much. Better. I was able to space out for 50 minutes by using my yoga techniques of letting stressful ideas float away if they popped into my brain. Spending this time relaxing with ZenHusband was the icing on the gluten-free cake. The last two months evaporated and I left feeling like a weight was lifted.
While sitting in the car on my way home from the spa, I texted my friends who've kindly dealt with my complaining about my shoulder/heard my massage appointment saga. The overwhelming response was "Finally!" then a few gentle reminders, including one from my best friend Kelly, explaining that I shouldn't take so long to do something that I needed to do because self care is important. Seeing the similarities between the texts made me reflect for a bit. I kept forgetting or waiting to make appointments because I felt like I should use my fancy gift card for a special occasion. Isn't getting a massage so indulgent? But then, cut to this week, when I was in agony until this massage gave me such needed, blessed relief. Emotionally, physically and mentally, I needed that break and the massage was 100% worth it.
I know that I sometimes let life get in the way of taking care of myself and doing what is best for me. My coworkers, Alla and Zahava, who are also amazing friends, needed to point me in the right direction when my calendar started to give me tunnel vision. The other day, Alla had to remind me that I am allowed to say no to a work favor to enjoy some rare quality time with my family. Then, Zahava emphasized that it's really okay to take a day off if I need it. I know I shouldn't need people to remind me to put myself first, but I know I'm definitely not the only one in the working world who needs a few of these reminders. American culture promotes an incredible amount of self sacrifice for our careers whether it's working extra jobs or missing important personal events due to work obligations. In addition, there is still an unfortunate stigma with mental health days and most people don't even use all of their regular vacation days for fear of losing their job. I linked two articles I linked below about this frustrating statistic:
Thankfully, IncrediblyThoughtfulHusband and my friends continue to remind me that self care is important and push me to take care of myself when I sometimes forget. We all love Parks and Recreation and will text each other #treatyoself as a easy, fun way to remind each other that it's okay to do something for yourself. A massage might be an indulgence when it's very expensive or incredibly frequent, but for me, I needed a professional to help me work out the tension in my shoulders. I shouldn't have waited so long to feel better or made excuses as to why I needed to book a massage. It's important to remember to do things for self-care, to feel like yourself again.
I know what you are thinking. Cats, Massages, American Culture and its stigma with Mental Health and #treatyoself is a lot to pack into one blog post, but it worked! (I think?!) So, my wonderful readers, please take some important advice that I only just started taking myself: Don’t hold back from “treating yourself” to something that your body needs to feel better. Or at the very least, don’t wait to partake in self care. (Yes, the slant rhyme was intentional.)
Talk soon!
-KB
I hope everyone had a wonderful end of 2017 as well! Long time, no blog post, for reasons I’ll explain, but I hope everyone out there in the interwebs is safe, happy and healthy!
This past December, CatAllergicHusband and I added a new addition to our family with our hypoallergenic Russian Blue kitten named Ghost. Since I get a kick out of telling people about her nomenclature, please indulge me with this short list:
1. She's named after the direwolf in Game of Thrones.
2. Like her namesake, she was the runt of her litter and immediately loyal to us.
3. Her middle name is Pepper, making her Ghost Pepper, which fits since she can be a fiery little thing.
4. We get great enjoyment out of calling "Ghooooooost!" around the condo, which probably freaks out our neighbors.
 |
| Our little Ghost Pepper with her little Ghost Pepper. (She's way bigger than this now!) |
Ghost is super affectionate, playful and freaking adorable. She is as obsessed with us as we are with her, and we've been loving the cat parent life!
Besides that absolutely wonderful event, I’ve been BUSY with a capital B. Every week has been scheduled to the max with after school events like club meetings and new tutoring jobs; plus our weekends have been booked solid, with all fun events, thankfully. (I learned to add the thankfully right away at the end of that sentence because after telling a few people about my event-filled schedule, they responded with, "But they are all happy things!" Yes, that's true, but hearing this can give a busy person a rush of both guilt and gratitude for being overwhelmed with scheduling time for positive events.) However, happy events can still take a toll on your body, which is what brings me to this President's Day weekend.
There are two times in my life when I felt like I really, REALLY needed a massage. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve maybe said I’ve needed one but it was in an “I’m stressed and should do probably do this, type of situation.” (I’ll come back to this idea later.) The first time I remember thinking I needed a massage was on FianceeNowHusband and my honeymoon as a relaxing way to celebrate the beginning of married life and to immediately de-stress after the wedding (couples massage for the win!). The second time was...pretty much all of 2018. I was/am running nonstop and was/am consistently getting waves of anxiety every time I looked/look at a calendar. (To make this less confusing, I'll be writing the rest of this in past tense. I think you get the hint that I'm still a bit stressed.) My best friend, Bree, pointed out I couldn't think about the current month because I was so busy looking ahead to the next month's activities. I was also constantly figuring out, oftentimes aloud, when I could possibly get an extra hour of sleep.
This routine unsurprisingly resulted in a physical side effect - carrying my stress in new-found knots my shoulders, specifically my left shoulder. The knots were tight and painful even after using heat patches, IcyHot patches, microwaveable neck wraps, you name it. (I almost injured KindHusband's hand when I asked him for help with it because my back was basically a solid brick.) Meanwhile, sitting in our house since last Christmas were two gift cards for Red Door massages (I know, so fancy!) that we were saving for a rainy day. After being in pain for a while and exhausting all options of fixing it myself, I spent weeks forgetting to call for an appointment, not being able to get an appointment, and one time missing an appointment (I actually cried when this happened. All due to a stupid train delay) until we finally got an appointment for another couples massage. Why not? HardworkingHusband deserves it too!
 |
| I took this picture as proof to send to my friends that I was finally here! Notice how exhausted I look! So pretty! |
Red Door Spa is the absolute best and I was SO excited because I knew their masseuses could help. We ended up driving to a different, further location just to get an appointment for this weekend, but I knew the place itself didn't matter because Red Door has fantastic staff everywhere. I immediately warned my masseuse of the knots after meeting her and she actually said “Wow” after touching my shoulder. Halfway through the massage, she quietly informed me the tension was really in BOTH of my shoulders, which makes a lot of sense. Overall, the experience was fantastic. She used the exact right amount of pressure and my shoulders feel So. Much. Better. I was able to space out for 50 minutes by using my yoga techniques of letting stressful ideas float away if they popped into my brain. Spending this time relaxing with ZenHusband was the icing on the gluten-free cake. The last two months evaporated and I left feeling like a weight was lifted.
 |
| Just to be clear, this place is not as creepy as it looks in this picture. I lovingly snapped this pic after leaving the spa at 8:30pm. |
While sitting in the car on my way home from the spa, I texted my friends who've kindly dealt with my complaining about my shoulder/heard my massage appointment saga. The overwhelming response was "Finally!" then a few gentle reminders, including one from my best friend Kelly, explaining that I shouldn't take so long to do something that I needed to do because self care is important. Seeing the similarities between the texts made me reflect for a bit. I kept forgetting or waiting to make appointments because I felt like I should use my fancy gift card for a special occasion. Isn't getting a massage so indulgent? But then, cut to this week, when I was in agony until this massage gave me such needed, blessed relief. Emotionally, physically and mentally, I needed that break and the massage was 100% worth it.
I know that I sometimes let life get in the way of taking care of myself and doing what is best for me. My coworkers, Alla and Zahava, who are also amazing friends, needed to point me in the right direction when my calendar started to give me tunnel vision. The other day, Alla had to remind me that I am allowed to say no to a work favor to enjoy some rare quality time with my family. Then, Zahava emphasized that it's really okay to take a day off if I need it. I know I shouldn't need people to remind me to put myself first, but I know I'm definitely not the only one in the working world who needs a few of these reminders. American culture promotes an incredible amount of self sacrifice for our careers whether it's working extra jobs or missing important personal events due to work obligations. In addition, there is still an unfortunate stigma with mental health days and most people don't even use all of their regular vacation days for fear of losing their job. I linked two articles I linked below about this frustrating statistic:
Thankfully, IncrediblyThoughtfulHusband and my friends continue to remind me that self care is important and push me to take care of myself when I sometimes forget. We all love Parks and Recreation and will text each other #treatyoself as a easy, fun way to remind each other that it's okay to do something for yourself. A massage might be an indulgence when it's very expensive or incredibly frequent, but for me, I needed a professional to help me work out the tension in my shoulders. I shouldn't have waited so long to feel better or made excuses as to why I needed to book a massage. It's important to remember to do things for self-care, to feel like yourself again.
I know what you are thinking. Cats, Massages, American Culture and its stigma with Mental Health and #treatyoself is a lot to pack into one blog post, but it worked! (I think?!) So, my wonderful readers, please take some important advice that I only just started taking myself: Don’t hold back from “treating yourself” to something that your body needs to feel better. Or at the very least, don’t wait to partake in self care. (Yes, the slant rhyme was intentional.)
Talk soon!
-KB
Special thanks to BestHusband (intheworllllll)
and my amazing friends, Bree, Kelly, Alla and Zahava
for inspiring this post and for keeping me sane, as they so often do.
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